Friday, June 30, 2006
sch days...??
this few days use bao ling's book to shut myself up.. haha.. its a nice book and i really wans to read it.. but on the other hand.. is trying to shut myself up.. durh~ i'm repeating.. well, to shut me up so tat i wont make any mistakes or say anything and pp talk to me will not be so pek cek.. but i think in some ways i still make them pek cek bahx.. sch reopens is really not very good.. i'm sad like in the past.. but not during the holidays.. and no one will ever noe it.. =X thurs cried i think.. its a terrible day for me.. watever.. then today is seniors' last day in prefectorial board le.. very sad.. i'm really sad.. there's no longer be fun le.. and sec 2 de will be bad.. so i think it will become very bad bahx..
quite tired of life.. =X starting of the week nia then say tired of life le.. then wat abt the rest of the days? don need survive le.. see sch sian liao.. prefect duty sux this few days.. class sux.. friends, hai hao lohx.. can say is xi guan le bahx.. but its still quite sad to hear some of the things bahx.. T_T
this week got hw to do.. boring... but monday is a holiday.. so not so bad.. tml donno wan go carol there or not.. think don wan le bahx.. stay at home do hw, play maple.. i'm at lvl 35 le.. and the clothes is so sexy.. stupid.. haha.. forget it.. i'm tired.. wan to slp liao.. nites..
10:19 AM
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
ER FAMILY GATHERING!!!
Finally got to go out wid the ER FAMILY le.. lolx.. today we went out.. all.. not even a single one bring left out... haha.. but pls le one jun xiang.. =.= we went to watch movie.. Garfield 2.. eh.. actually at there tat time got disagreement lahx.. haha.. cuz they donno wan watch garfield or R.V. ... then carol wacth garfield le.. xuan watch R.V. le.. so.. haiz.. donno wat to watch lohx.. then elrin wanted to watch R.V. de.. but xuan watch before le and she don wan to watch it again while carol is fine wid it, to watch garfiled again.. cuz she promised me to go tgt at first de.. but she went wid her sis le.. but at least she can watch it again.. so not a prob... in the end decide to watch garfield le but elrin say the movie start very late... and so we stood there again to decide.. and blah blah blah.. lolx.. so in the end.. Garfield 2!!!
it was quite nice lahx.. okie okie lohx.. haha.. the most funny thing is.. carol watch le.. so she thinks is bored.. ( i think ) so she went to lie down on the couple seat.. miao hui more funny.. she very tired.. then don wan watch liao.. slp on her seat.. she jus told me she wan to slp.. and the next thing when i see her is.. she's asleep.. haha.. very fast lohx.. she very pro.. say wan slp jiu slp de.. very on.. haha.. well.. then she woke up ard 15 mins later and the movie is ending.. haha..
den elrin and jun xiang go home.. the other Er family go mac eat.. its 5.30 + lohx.. lolx.. i no money.. so nv eat.. at first onli carol eat.. then xuan, bao and miao go buy liao.. leaving me alone.. so i slp lohx.. lolx.. tired lahx.. then they eat for abt 1 hr and i slept for abt 1hr.. lolx.. diaos lohx.. haha.. then go home lo..
haha.. today was quite fun lahx... elrin and jun xiang sit couple seat and was enjoying at the back.. opps.. =X haha.. okie lahx.. don say them.. later kena beaten up.. lolx.. the cinema was quite empty lahx.. so at first go in we all very noisy.. haha.. hack care.. like the whole place is ours... but its fun lohx.. so cool.. lolx..okie.. enuff.. talk back to myself.. lolx.. wanna watch R.V. next.. but don think they going for another movie again bahx.. most probably not de.. sure no money liao lohx.. lolx.. no choice.. sad.. nvm.. its okie.. at least got this chance to go out wid the whole ER FAMILY wid a donno who... lolx..
6:39 AM
Monday, June 26, 2006
first day of sch..
today online jus to blog actually.. really wan to blog.. and my stupid sister is complaining in the phone to donno whoever guy and is like a sucker bitch.. F*** sia... say me say till like tat.. i did said i wanted to use awhile today.. and she is giving me those stupid attitudes.. pls.. for goodness sake...
oh well.. today was the starting of sch.. not really fun.. duty was tiring.. long time no do le.. but still think is fun.. prefects' investiture is coming in the 3rd week.. tat means seniors are stepping down 3 weeks later.. sobs.. gonna miss them lots.. then my throat today was horrible.. pain and i'm still eating chilli.. lolx.. didnt wan my voice to turn any better.. so keep on eat chilli lohx.. like tat got advantage.. don need say pledge.. pull flag is better.. and 1st day of sch being sabo-ed by jun jie le.. tat idiot.. tell him i don wan do le and he still said mr siva wans me to do.. wtf... watever.. and i pulled too fast le.. so pai seh...
in class didnt talk much.. don wanna talk.. keep on reading the book bao ling lent me.. very nice book.. its interesting and this is the first time i read so mani pages of the book.. surprisingly.. and.. my class was being scolded quite badly by some teachers for not doing to hw.. lol.. tats wat mostly my class will do.. today is bored in sch.. nth de.. jus talk and talk.. boring.. *yawns* i'm getting sleepy.. anyways.. tml need to bring books le.. and must continue to study le.. bag is "heavy".. lolx.. and i'm sleepy.. so going to sleep le.. before tat idiot yells at me again.. calling for the comp..
she wan use phone still wan use comp.. and she is not doing anything wid the comp lohx.. jus looking at her friends' photos in friendster.. wtf.. lend me use awhile will die arhx.. and is terribly feeling angry and frustrated by her.. this is going on all the time and she jus complains it to her frens.. where got such kind of sisters in the whole de?? alala.. hack care.. tml go sch liao.. must slp slp le.. so nites..
8:21 AM
Saturday, June 24, 2006
sigh
argh!! sian.. wo bu yao blog le... its really really useless le bahx.. glass shattering... =X haha.. jk.. actually i can really go kill myself le.. everybody will sure noe wat is the reason for them to live... but i really cant find mine.. i find it so damn useless.. life jus sux like hell.. i'm bored.. i rather kill myself wid a penknife now.. will i do it?? i donno... maybe? maybe not??
well... today went to carol there de rc.. acc her.. till 2+ then went her hse to see her uncle's dog.. 3+ went to eat lunch.. 5 reach her hse.. start to do hw.. till 7?? then went cck eat dinner wid dad and mum.. had yummy food.. reach home at 10.. 11 like tat online.. chat while mum watch show... bored.. i'm all alone now.. everybody's asleep.. tat's my day probably..
bored.. really tired of life... wat am i thinking now i oso donno.. blanked.. y is there someone who will always hurt me.. i don think anyone will noe who is it bahx.. i noe who u pp will think.. but its jus not him.. forget it.. i'm jus talking to myself.. ting ar ting.. when can u really wake up from ur wonderland?? i hate the life i'm having now.. its being controlled.. somehow..
9:57 AM
Thursday, June 22, 2006
i donno wat to say..
well.. i donno wat is in my brain now.. read tat idiot's post.. is kind of.. SEH.. y jus cant mine and his thing be gotten over? i wan to let the past go.. maybe start a new life.. wat more can i do? i jus wan to be alone.. can i? i jus wan a single life.. can i? even if i don have a relationship i'm okie wid it.. as long as i don have to hear things i don wan....?? gosh.. wat am i talking abt? pig me!!
forget abt it... was quite sick today... fine in the morning.. and was quite "suay??" ya.. watever.. actually going for movies.. but they say going orchard to watch.. so cant go le.. after tat went carol house to do hw de.. msg her at 1.30.. i left sembawang mrt station le.. telling her i going her house now.. then no reply.. i call her.. no ans.. nvm lohx.. i walk till her house downstairs.. called her?? i think.. no ans.. sat on the swing outside her house.. msg her.. no reply.. waited awhile.. i msg her to tell her to open the door when she see the msg.. last time i did it once.. lolx.. and after tat.. buay tahan.. no ans.. i called her hse.. if i didnt call.. i think i'm going to stay outside till night.. lolx.. then finally got in... she was playing maple.. and there comes my stomach ach.. wtf.. pain!! nvm lohx.. bear wid it.. then she ask me play maple.. wth.. my sotmach so pain.. and the stupid maple so packed wid pp.. cant even go in.. go in kill awhile onli kena kicked out somehow.. then i don wan play le.. lie on the floor.. roll here roll there... cant bear the pain.. she came out.. ask me sit in the living room.. sit on the sofa.. wan die le.. then buay tahan.. 3 went home while she bring her sis go eat lunch..
on the way to cwp.. rested mani times.. then went to take taxi home.. =X didnt tell my mum.. reach home eat medicine, slp.. till 6.30 feeling better le.. so wake up eat dinner and watch lui guang shen lin.. online tat time.. the pain is back.. didnt really use the comp.. on it to "scold pp"..( okie la.. didnt really scold hor.. if scold de hua should be worst le.. ) and slept on the bed next to the comp.. the baby bed.. =X haiz.. this pain is bad!!!! then still feel giddy and wanna vomit like tat.. super xin ku lohx... haiz.. poor me.. wat unlucky day...
hmm.. now feeling better le.. not pain le.. today nv do hw.. die die die.. tml going to do.. but can i make it?? hope so bahx.. sch gonna reopen le.. i really don feel like going back to sch anymore.. cuz of personal feelings?? watever... nobody will understand / noe wat i'm feeling and talking abt... donno lahx.. wanna slp le.. tml yang still wanna me pia my dit.. seh.. don wan lahx.. must do hw sia... how??? who help me pia????!!!!
10:05 AM
Friday, June 16, 2006
stupidity,careless and idiot-ness can kill..
today went sentosa.. not wid my girlies but mr chang and "gang".. reach home... have been crying the whole night le.. till now onli.. i hate my clumsy-ness, i hate my stupidity, i hate my idiot-ness, i hate everything tat always make me do wrong things!! so u all should noe how was my trip le bahx..
okie lahx.. hai hao.. ytd slept at 1+ but on the bed keep on turn here turn there.. cannot slp.. today woke up at 6.. pack my things and bath and stuffs.. 7, the baby came.. had to take care of him cuz my mum wan go market buy smth.. lazy to bring him go cuz he is noisy and ma fan.. so i take care lohx.. glad he didnt make any trouble for me...
after tat went cwp meet them.. leon was late.. dots.. then we took bus to senosa.. its a long trip.. reach there at 10+.. abt 11+ then really reached the beach.. palawan again.. then put down things and play le lohx.. there comes my big big careless-ness.. i left my hp in the pocket.. and went down to the water.. when i knew it, i'm already thoroughly wet.. cuz they have been splashing water all the way.. lolx.. then quickly take up to the beach to wipe it dry.. then ask mr chang help me take care.. so tat it will be more dry.. went back to the water.. not in mood le.. scare, worried.. after tat jiu hao le..
mr chang go sentosa = waste money.. go in go bar nia.. no go play no nth de.. but i'm very sure tat we guys quite had fun lahx.. 4+ go bath and took back my phone.. heard tat its not working.. worry dao siao liao.. after tat they went to eat lunch, and i ate nth.. for the whole day didnt eat anything.. actually was hungry after the activities de.. but suddenly noe my phone in so bad state.. totally no appetite le lohx.. after tat hao duo le.. think tat i should eat smth or else later will faint de liao.. ( i faint easily) eat cup noodles.. actually the guys wan go play bball de.. but didnt in the end.. so went home le..
took bus again.. and i slept almost throughout the journey.. they say i looked like i nearly fall when the bus turn.. and they were "worried?".. lolx.. lie on kiat's hand somemore.. lolx.. he push my head de lohx.. =X haha... then i lazy to move again.. so lie on it lohx.. anyway.. its comfortable.. =X thx.. his hand was nearly numbed bahx.. sowie.. anyway, had fun all the way..? till i reach home..
my mum knew abt it le.. and she was very shocked and angry.. scolded my very loudlly.. donno y cannot control.. cry lohx.. they after tat hide in room de one corner to cry.. i donno y.. i don usually cry till so cham de lohx.. first time.. and is cannot control de... i jus had difficulty breathing.. and then jus cry none stop.. tried to stop oso no use.. then, my dad.. he called back.. think my mum called him bahx.. and he sort of "scolded" me.. cannot tahan.. continue to cry lohx.. tried to hide my voice tat i'm crying but didnt managed.. fan er kena scold say i ecerytime do things wrong kena scold will cry.. of cuz.. duh~ then don care le lohx.. jus cry in the phone liao.. after tat hang up the phone liao jiu sit on the floor.. use hair dryer blow.. tears dropping all the way.. none stop... till very very very long later then slowly stop.. lolx
eyes were red jus now.. lie sore eye like tat.. pain now... hardly can open it... haiz.. i really donno when will then i stop doing all those carelees things, tat make me fell so idiot-ly stupid??? everytime go out sure will do some clumsy and carelees things... like it is for me to rmb tat i went to tat place... whao.. wat a "good" memory...
7:46 AM
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
am i sad or happy? in real life.. not here..
okies.. i have always knew this.. blogging is useless... its boring.. lolx..
fine.. watever.. today finally went out to do my hw..
FINALLY... lolx.. went lib to do wid carol.. then after tat too pek cek cuz no table.. haha.. so we went mac.. lolx.. i finished the e maths week 2 hw le.. wakakas.. lolx.. tats alittle onli lohx..
carol was not really in mood to do hw de.. so she went to do her 1 yr's album.. she wid kang hong.. all the memories and stuffs.. so envy them lohx.. got such memories.. haiz.. its also good to have a got xin si de lao po.. if i am one.. i don think i wil even tot of such things bahx.. wan miss oso miss my dar dar onli.. =X well.. now oso no dar dar.. cannot miss.. miss myself.. wakakas.. lolx
i'm mad le lahx.. freaking tired.. tml going to do hw too... tml got add miao miao de.. hees.. haiz.. too bad.. she's not going on fri.. o.. fri maybe going sentosa.. lolx.. ever since the june holiday starts, i have not went out once.. not even once.. got, but to sch.. lolx.. boring lohx.. this time maybe going out wid mr chang they all... hope will be fun bahx.. if i go de hua i will not noe wat to wear again.. lolx.. always like tat de.. haha.. go out donno wear wat.. haha.. boring.. haiz.. worry worry and worry... xD anyways.. hope i can finish my hw bahx.. =))
6:12 AM
Friday, June 09, 2006
my performance days.. and bla bla bla
updatess.. sian arhx.. last few days didnt get to use the comp.. lolx.. nvm.. today can use le.. must faster update.. hmm.. lets talk abt mon bahx.. went for hist lesson for 1 hr.. then went for dance.. late for dance.. and the teacher very luo suo.. say if late must tell her reason.. last time don need de.. lolx.. then do lots of stretching.. then do the syf dance.. wa piang.. the juniors hor.. really can kill me le.. cuz we keep on dance jus becuz of them.. =.= then the syf dance was very very tiring.. keep on jump here jump there de.. lolx.. then must fall down on the floor.. then very pain oso.. haha.. but its fun lahx.. jus tired and pain.. after tat went home and watever... haha
tues still got dance oso.. its the last rehearsal before the performance at Istana.. then those tat had dance pervious dance was aching lohx.. almost whole body.. esp the butt.. haha.. its real painful and we had to swart down.. then ngoh was very kind.. noe we are all in pain and had difficulties to do some actions.. so very slack.. haha.. then went home to prepare le lohx...
wed.. the full dress rehearsal at Istana.. tiring.. we got to dance over and over again.. then still got do some stupid actions for the finale.. then still must march lohx.. imagine dancers oso have to march.. this is once in a life time one lohx.. haha.. but it was fun.. having to stand in the sun was alright.. but had to stand on heated plastic.. the sun so big then so hot then the plastic was heated already.. and they expect us to stand on it and dance.. btw.. we cant and didnt managed.. haha.. dinner was alright.. vege is nice.. haha.. then must keep our smiles on the face all day.. tiring fake smile.. haha..go home was abt 10.45 le.. late bahx..
thurs.. our final day to dance tat dance.. cuz its the performace day... haha.. onli had one last rehearsal before the real performance.. so it was alright.. then here comes the real one le.. we were waiting for so long till it gets started.. and the malay girls and us were playing behind.. so funni.. ever some adults oso laughed.. haha.. then the performance started le.. when i was on the stage.. i donno y.. i jus went smiling all the way.. good lahx.. don need to make a fake one.. haha.. and.. i'm a blind cat.. lolx.. i cant see a single thing.. so always need pp to guild me.. haha.. without my spects is like tat de lohx.. bad one.. haha.. everything finally over le.. very relaxed and tired.. saw shuai ge.. haha.. but i always missed him when he was going out of Istana.. lolx.. the rest will see him de.. and i always missed.. haha.. then changed on the bus.. everybody helped to cover each other.. haha.. reach sch at 10.40.. then lied to ngoh tat i living at xifang's place for ytd night.. and she believed.. lolx.. xuan told her tat her father was waiting for her at the mrt station and he didnt knew how to come to our sch.. so we walked her to mrt station to ensure her safety.. haha.. all craps lohx.. we lied.. fang's father came and bring us.. so me and xuan were lucky to have escaped.. haha..
today went guzheng very slack.. then teacher oso hack care.. nv scold us.. in the morning went to mac to rush my hw.. my phy.. cant really finish.. and i even skipped my lunch to finish it.. after guzheng then continue to finish it.. and managed.. haha.. lucky sia.. when i go hand in the book tat time hand in 5 books lehx.. and i copied some of the ans when doing.. cuz i donno how to do.. and in total.. copied 4 pp book.. haha.. kua zhang rite? lolx.. then came home watch "green forest, my home" <
> the one channel u is shoing at 7.. i missed 2 episode le.. so watched it jus now.. very nice.. and funni.. haha.. then should be all le bahx.. lolx..
bad news / funni news.. guys put on make up sure looks girly.. haha.. very very funni.. and.. i think i shan dao yao le.. my waist very pain.. walk oso have difficulty le.. pain.. T_T haha.. hmm.. tat should be all my update le bahx... this whole week didnt get to go out.. hope i can for the next two coming weeks.. XD
8:19 AM
Friday, June 02, 2006
3 June 06 1.07am
today was a bd day. everything i did was wrong. feel tat i had already reached a stage whereby i can no longer tolerate anymore le. real life things are going against me, i got nth to say le.. even the comp is against me.. today reached home.. very very seh.. reach home onli mum still nag and nag.. go inside room, nearly slit myself.. i really donno wat to do le.. hand is still abit red now.. T_T
problems are coming all the way... things pop out from nowhere.. frens always pointing fingers at me, putting words into mouth, thinks tat i'm a nuisances, a troublemarker... i had enuff of all those.. is tat wat i get for caring? is tat all my retributionn?! T_T
10:04 AM
Thursday, June 01, 2006
camp.. <3 it
okies.. i lost my posting again.. so got to repost it.. diaos.. haha.. okies.. basically.. i went camp last few days.. at first tot tat it will not be fun.. but i'm wrong.. its real fun...
first day: went to sch at 12.. gathered outside G.O. .. saw some outside pp sitting nearby.. expected them to be our instructors.. surprised to see an "uncle".. then i sian diao.. "uncle" training us.. haha.. but okie la.. roger isnt tat old actually.. haha.. after tat went to our bunks and go thinking hub for things.. at thinking hub.. we choose our groups and tat became our camp group.. my facilitators were christine, the cute, pretty and sweet lady wid jonathan, the lame, funny and nice guy.. haha.. got our group name : 8ggerous.. and our cheer.. funni cheer.. each were oso given an egg to take care of.. wherever we go, we must bring it wid us.. including bathing, sleeping and going to toilet.. imagine how we reacted.. haha.. after tat play games and things lohx.. 3 went for cca till 6.. then missed mani things..
after tat eat dinner and were brought to the hall.. it was already very dark at tat time.. and the hall was.. DARK.. haha.. we went in group by group.. and mine is the last group.. others groups tat went in first shouted.. so.. expected tat there is someone inside scaring us.. haha.. and i'm correct.. haha.. we were brought in by holding onto a rope and wonston led us in.. i go in turn ard and saw jonathan hiding.. then i keep on say very loud to tell bao they all but none heard me.. haha.. then they got scared and shouted too.. lolx. after tat played war game.. 4 groups separated into 2 groups.. my group wid tamagotchie.. we had to protect a lighted candle, if the candle extinguished, tat means we lost.. at the same time, we had to find clues to break a code.. and there were "police" ard to catch us.. and if kena caught will have to go torture room and be tortured.. so we ran and shouted throughout the night.. haha.. first time in my life tat i can shout in sch late in the night.. anyway.. the torture room was the toilet.. the whole floor was covered wid eggs i think.. then we had to kneel down to look for smth blindfolded.. at the same time, they will pour flour and things on u.. heard that they was also coffee powder.. so.. haha.. lucky i was not inside.. but i was caught by winston and fell down.. then my egg broke... haha.. winston didnt drag me into the torture room lahx.. cuz i jus hug a pole and die die oso don wan go.. haha.. slept at 12.30 woke up at 2.30 to do our group flag.. i hai dao miao hui le.. so guilty.. cried and.. aiya.. watever.. don wan talk abt sad thing.. and she cant slp for the whole night.. i'm so sorry
2nd day: went trekking at bukit timah again.. were given $3 each to buy things for the trek and my group bought biscuits and bread.. actually they don wan buy water de.. cuz we were already given 2 bot. but at last got buy lahx.. and luckily got buy 2 bot.. cuz we finished all 4 bot.. haha.. the trek was long lahx.. and we climbed alot lohx.. high steps and long ones.. haha..after tat take bus back to sch.. tired.. and slept in the bus.. wake up blur blur de.. haha.. then bath le go k court.. lolx.. its whereby we can "sue" pp.. it was fun lahx.. but very bu shuang someone lohx.. action de.. okie.. don mention names.. but have fun lahx.. and lame too.. esp judge jonathan.. haha.. he's lame lahx.. okies.. after tat 9++ they say we can slp le.. but most of us cant slp.. went parade square see stars.. i'm lucky.. tat day really lots of stars.. after tat they sang songs.. really loved sarina's cant fight the moonlight.. very nice.. she got the voice.. love it.. XD then 1.30 then slp.. haha.. it was a good slp.. didnt wake up in the middle of the night at all.. slp till 7++ then wake up.. haha..
3rd day: last day le.. but i got lesson.. have to go for camp thing then go for lesson.. cuz its impt.. so went for workshop first.. after tat each were given a plastic egg.. for memory de.. and photos taken on the 2nd day.. so sad.. got to leave le.. missed the Care Corner pp so much.. namely: roger, winston, jonathan, thomas, christine, sharon, valerie and ruby.. they are very nice pp.. going to visit them on sat.. hees.. so happy..
during the camp.. knew smth i don wan to noe.. now donno wat to do.. no one to consult to.. haiz.. life is bad.. i jus need a right person at the right time.... =.=
6:33 AM
